End of the Redmond Trail

It seems as if I slept a few minutes ago, had an eventful dream and then was impolitely woken up. That’s how these 11 weeks at Redmond have whooshed past. And at this point, it’s still unclear to me how so many experiences and so many memories were registered in a single summer. Sigh. As I’m on the verge of leaving this city that has taught me so much, words seem like a useless tool to express what I’m feeling.

I stumbled into Microsoft as a naive boy who thought he knew a thing or two about software. But today when I stepped out from Building 17 for the last time, I felt I had aged a bit. I had seen how the big leagues work. I had seen how the smartest people in the world thought. I had realized how your critics are actually doing a service to you. I had realized that accepting your own ignorance is the first step to wisdom. I was shown how assumptions are an evil, professionally and personally. I had learned that communication is not only about talking but also listening with an intent ear. I was introduced to the Office culture which I learned to love. I had learned how to write a spec for a feature that was going to be truly global. I learned no matter how well you prepare for a presentation, a manager will always come up with an innocuous question, the answer to which you will have no idea about. I learned its okay to bring your nation’s flag to the office on it’s independence day. It’s ok to wear a reverse cap and jeans in a presentation with all the top officials of your org. It’s ok to work with your legs up on the office desk. Fact is, none of this matters as long as you fulfill the work you signed up to do. Yup. Today, I felt I had worked somewhere special.

But along with the great professional experience, my social circle outside of work was nothing short of intense. It was like LUMS transported to a different city. Each person in the group brought a unique and eccentric flavor which made the chemistry very interesting. There were no insipid personalities. But along with the general ‘hanging out’, I got a chance to stand back and come up with a few pointers on life & people I know:

- I crashed at Kashif’s place for the summers and I finally figured out how to treat him when he’s playing DOTA. Just assume that he’s asleep.

- i found out that diving into an argument with six people with different opinions on where to eat is considered ‘fun’.

- Hanging out means eating out.

- You will curse the person who planned a day-long trip when you have to wake up at 6 in the morning on a Saturday. But you will feel happy you did get up once you come back home in the afternoon with enough time to watch a movie later in the day.

- Man shops out of necessity and women shop out of the pleasure of having spent money - money spent ‘on what’ is considered secondary.

- ‘Brand is prime’ and yet ‘cheap is sexy’.

- The trailer of a movie can sometimes be all you want to see of that movie. In some mundane cases, the trailer ‘is’ the movie.

- The ‘dangerous-looking’ is fun (bungee jumping, white water rafting) and the safe (kayaking) is, well, not dangerous enough.

- In a restaurant, avoiding the menu and simply ordering two of what someone else has ordered has its advantages. If the choice was good, well, you did a good job in conserving brain power. If the choice was bad, well at least now you know whose choice you don’t want to trust anymore.

- Being the most prolific photographer in the group means you’ll be the least remembered. No one thinks about the person behind the camera.

- To strike a good conversation, you need to avoid agreement. When everyone’s reached the same conclusion, there seems to be little to talk about.

- When organizing a potluck, avoid volunteering for desserts with fancy names. The name can set high expectations at times and if you’re not a good cook, you don’t want to be attracting too much attention.

There was more from where these came from but I guess I’ll spare you the lengthy read. Anyways, now that I’ve wrapped up a terrific summer (Alhamdulillah), I’m trying my best to avoid nostalgia and look forward to the next destination lined up for me. My next adventure will take me across the Atlantic to the land of royalty and football. England it is.

I’ll update you guys about England travels once I’m back in Philly in early September (Insha’Allah). Till then, KIH !

Settling in Seattle

First of all, I’d like to thank everyone who prayed and supported me to nail the Microsoft internship. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have a convenient situation built up where the opportunity to work with the software giant became possible - factors like studying at Penn, being in America etc. were all key to my success. I know that everyone is curious to know what it’s like to work for Bill’s Creation and I’m gonna try to delineate what my initial impression has been. I guess doing this in a FAQ format will be the easiest way as it will serve both purposes of answering the specific questions people have been asking me and an insight to the life of an employee:

- What are you working on ?
I’m working as a Program Manager in the Office Business Applications (OBA) team. OBA pertains to the Office Suite tailored to particular business roles like Sales, HR etc. In other words, it’s Office with business-specific features and tools. The specific task assigned to me is quite challenging (making it all the more interesting) and my responsibilities include designing the feature,documenting my specifications, making the project plan, executing it and doing some marketing research on how the product should be placed.

- How’s your office space ?
I’ve been assigned a separate room (not a cubicle) which I’m sharing with another PM internee. I wouldn’t say its a lavish office but it’s a comfortable room with a whiteboard for brainstorming and basic furniture. I like my equipment too (Alhamdulillah) - decent Dell desktop and laptop and a sweet Office communicator telephone that’s linked to my contacts list on my computer.

- Is there any fun stuff there like Google ?
Well, Google has the bean bags and lava lamps which definitely isn’t provided by Microsoft. But I have seen people decorate their office in wacky ways and some bring bean bags on their own and some place little action figures on their shelves. As far as recreation is concerned, one can play table tennis, foosball and other small games in the premises at any time. Plus, you get all sodas for free (yea yea , Google offers free food so it does have a one-up there :P) Of course, you can always go out and take a stroll or bike around the lush green patches but I guess you wouldn’t classify it as “fun” , would you ?

- Whats the eating scene ?
Not bad at all. They have a cafeteria in every other building which is heavily equipped with food from all cultures , from Mexican to Indian. The thing that matters for me is that they offer Halal burgers in some cafes !

- So, how are the people there ?
Alhamdulillah, the people in my team are super nice and helpful. My manager (Sangya) has eased me into the whole scheme of things and is making sure I’m not rushed. My mentor (Kevin) is like the funniest guy on the planet and I’m getting along with him really well (Mash’Allah). Other people on the team are welcoming and generally very humorous (even my manager’s manager). Other than that, we have a great diversity of people here who carry the “smart” gene. I’ve been attending a few lectures in a conference that’s been taking place here and boy do people have some neat ideas on common issues/problems. I feel dumb.

- How’s Seattle ?
I’ve always said people make the place. Where Seattle is a beautiful, scenic city with disturbing weather for the most part (too cold for me !), what makes it so special is that I know a lot of people here. From LUMS to Techlogix , I’ve got a healthy social circle around me which has made it easier to settle in and get into the groove. I can imagine it being a very different scenario if I was a total alien here. The restaurants have a good range and offer a different but pleasant taste, especially the Middle Eastern ones. And there is quite a lot of stuff to do in terms of outdoor activities (hiking, kayaking etc.) and several nearby places to visit (just checked out the beautiful islands of San Juan - terrific experience)

Well, that’s that. If anyone wants to know anything else, shoot me some comments and I’ll be glad to answer them.

Time to skidaddle. Salaam and K.I.H !

Reflecting on the year

The Slate is getting stale so I’ve decided I’m going to pull my socks up and try to honor all the promises I made in May (which btw seems like eons ago).Alhamdulillah, after nine months of hard work, sweat and brain-cell-racking, on the 8th of May,2008 I completed my first academic year of my Master’s programme at Penn. How did I feel ? Well, for one, I was darn angry. Why ? Well, to put it in a nutshell, I got to know about the grades of a particular project and I wasn’t too happy with the seemingly unjust grading policy applied to my team’s submission. But I guess had it not been the case that I had worked my butt on that particular project, I wouldn’t have cared much and in all probability would have shrugged it off as a mercurial reality of
life. In any case, things worked out and the end result was all good.

Now, back to my year. What a year , Alhamdulillah ! I don’t know if it was my happiest year (I really do have a soft spot for my childhood years but it was , hands down, the most happening year of my life. The number of places I got to visit, the diversity of people I got to interact with and the unaccustomed lifestyle I was required to live just made things overwhelming and exciting at the same time. From experiencing a global village in the Fulbright orientation last August to cruising through the streets of the Silicon Valley in January, there was always something to discover, something to look forward to and something to absorb first-hand. I’m truly amazed with the amount of information I’ve gathered over the last year in the form of images, anecdotes and sounds in my head - the sheer intensity of the flux of incidents and events have left me wondering about how little I knew about the external world before coming to Penn and gave true meaning
to the phrase : “expanding one’s horizons”.

A quick recap on the year:
- August: Landed in Miami for the Fulbright orientation. An assortment of people ; a fantastic novel experience in a global setting. Arrived at Philadelphia - concerned about crime rates, lackluster life and a decent social circle but held on tight. Discovered New York City for the first time and quenched my desire to see what the hype was about.

- September: Ramadan started. Introduced to the MSA and the people involved. Studies kicked off and difficulty took off on a steep tangent. Visited Washington D.c. and had one hell of a walking tour.

- October: My first Eid - was different but decent (Alhamdulillah). My first mid-term exams - a few brain fuses blown. Settling into Philly and making it my home town.

- November: Elected to the MSA board. First Projects at Penn. Planning for the winter break.

- December: Finals for Fall Semester. My first Eid where I was giving an exam and travelling by air on the same day. Explored Oakland, L.A and San Fran and hit most of the majorlandmarks. Experienced the amenable weather California had to offer.

- January: Visited Boston and reasoned what was great about MIT and Harvard. Went to the “Board retreat” with the MSA to Villanova - got to know the members better and also duties officially started.

- February: Workaholic month. Had to face a eye-brow raising incline in coursework AND had to fight my way through challenging interviews with Microsoft. Alhamdulillah, got the green signal from the Micro boys late February.

- March: Spring break came along with a smile and offered a chance to explore Philly a little more and check out the gambling capital of the East Coast, Atlantic City.

- April: Development on a killer course project that presented a sharp challenge. First budday at Penn (and second last :P) with a wonderful gesture from my MSA buddies.

- May: Aching finals and then end of academic year. Travelled to scenic Little Rock and checked out barren Dallas. Finally arrived at Redmond, Seattle. A challenging internship started with great opportunities to offer.

It’s seems like a flash of intense action - a blur with an amalgam of a multitude of images and occurrences. The year holds a treasure chest of cherishable memories for me and I just can’t wait to see what the next year has in store for me.

Insha’Allah, I hope it’s even better !

Salaam and take care people ! K.I.H !

Still Alive

Salaam everyone,

Yes, yes…contrary to what you might think, this blog is still alive and so am I. I’m writing this post from Little Rock, Arkansas where I’m crashing at Ammar’s place and Alhamdulillah, am having a blast ! I’ll give you guys the gory details once I surrender my nomadic boots and orient myself on steadier ground (right now, plans and trips are being made as we speak !) You shall hear more from me after I get to Seattle (Insha’Allah) on the 22nd.

And oh yes, apologies for not writing right after my final exams which ended on the 8th. I was supposed to reminisce on the year 07-08 and I couldn’t for the following cliche-but-true reasons: (a) My lazy brain went on an abrupt leave (b)
Too busy chilling out with friends, movies and day-dreaming about the summer ahead (c) Packing, packing packing , packing, pac..

But boy, have I got lots of stories and pictures to share ! Watch out on facebook and this blog for some massive updates in the next week or so Insha’Allah. One of such updates includes a surprise trip to another state while I was camping in Arkansas - details later , Insha’Allah !

Salaam and K I H !

Exam Frenzy

Salaam to all !

For all those folks who are wondering where I went for the past week or so, well I guess the title of this post answers that question. Unlike my usual lengthy and rambling posts, I’m going to cut it short this time with a few quick updates because I need to hit those textbooks !

I’ve already had two exams and have two more to go. The one yesterday (Analysis of Algorithms - GRAD LEVEL, mind you) was a humdinger. It was the first 4-hour exam I’ve given in my life (that’s like 1/6th of a day !) and boy was wasn’t I taken for a visit to the cleaners ! When I got the question paper, and cursorily browsed through the questions, I honestly thought I was handed an exam of another course. You can imagine the difficulty of the exam by the fact that PhD people (who usually cruise through stuff like these cuz they’ve been doing this for half of their prehistoric lives) actually notified the instructor with worried faces that their not getting any ideas, to which the instructor suggested that they take a brief stroll outside to clear their minds up ! Mind-numbing torture I tell you !

Anyways, exams end on the 8th InshaAllah after which I have a week to pack up and fly to Little Rock on the 15th, to drop in a brief visit to a good friend of mine, Ammar Z (aka Rubber Zucky aka Zaki). Lots of inside jokes to refresh over there And finally ) on the 22nd, I fly to my summer abode better known as Seattle where I shall crash with good old Kashif T and kick off a much-anticipated summer internship at Microsoft (Insha’Allah).

That’s all from me now. Will give you guys more updates over the week Insha’Allah ! And oh, my first year at Penn is coming to a close, so once it does I shall recap on what has been one of the most memorable years of my life (Insha’Allah).

Salaam & KeepItHalal !

Over the Edge

I can’t stop thinking about it - it’s the most disturbing news I’ve heard for years. “Hashir Munawar, a LUMS senior commited suicide in his hostel room at LUMS” - just throws my spine into shivers whenever I reiterate that. Unreal. I just can’t come around to believe that a student was pushed so far over the edge that he’d put an end to it, once and for all.

Its made me realize that I take so many things for granted. Awesome friends. Respectable grades. Sweet Victories. And I don’t think I’ve been thankful enough. I almost feel guilty smiling now…knowing that there might someone , trapped in a web of misfortunes, might not can’t afford to do so.

No, I didn’t know Hashir personally. But sitting half a world away from LUMS hasn’t done much to palliate the strong surge of sorrow that I have felt. My heart feels weak and my eyes teary. I feel out of place.

I’ve lived in the hostels for four years and it was nothing short of a second home to me. I’ve always associated fun things to it - hanging out with my peeps, watching vids on the lan, sipping on dew , dorm cricket. But something as utterly morose as suicide has shifted my perception of the hostels instantly…dunno why…what seemed to be a four-year long slumber party venue sounds like a refuge for intimidating, grim realities.

I don’t even know how to start saying what I want to say. Guess I’ll try looking at questions. Why ? How ?

To answer the why, the common theory is that the tragedy was a product of his academic breakdown and inevitable separation from the LUMS programme. But to know that he was absolutely normal (according to some) at breakfast and to go from there and take your own life in the afternoon, that shows that there must have been a lot of other factors in play. I don’t think this was impulse. This was a case of a continual process of being subjected to pressure and stress; a gradual and steady erosion of tolerance, patience and determination. His optimism and motivation to live - all was extinguished on that grim afternoon. Allah knows better what kind of tribulations he was going through and how and why he was bottling his grief with a disguised face.

Some people are quick to judge. Cowardice is what they call it. Although, I don’t agree with the desperate measures that were taken, I am still of the view that people should accept that he’s gone, stop defaming him and avoid adding fuel to the fire for his family, who must be going through an unimaginably painful time. Think about his loved ones. Think about his younger brother who had to witness that horrific scene of his older sibling hung from an iron wire from a ceiling fan. So, “Stop talking”. Stop criticizing. If you can’t say something nice, be silent. Its not called “suppressing freedom of speech”. Its called “having a heart”.

As far as ’scapegoats’ are concerned, frankly, I’m not going to spend much time pointing fingers. I, honestly, can’t say if the LUMS admin is solely to blame. The bottom line is that it’s over and we should do all we can to ensure that such occurrences never happen again. Obviously the administration, the faculty members and fellow students have a role to play here and work towards creating a culture that avoids such awful incidents. Many concerned Luminites have done their best in setting up facebook groups and posts on blogs to list down suggestions and I think I’ll mention a few of the suggestions here:

(a) At this point of time, there’s a dire need to involve faculty members along with students in trying to come up with a solution and enforce measures that curb such intentions.

(b) Write up a formal statement to firstly inquire and demand an official statement from the university to explain how they see this matter i.e. why it happened and what was being done to prevent it. Secondly, a petition needs to be signed along with a formal document that suggests policy changes and action steps that should be taken immediately.

(c) Some of these action steps:

- Re-define and transform the roles of an academic adviser and the LUMS counseler from ‘vacuum placeholders’ to responsible entities that carry out active monitoring of student performances and conduct proper investigation in case signs of continued poor performance are observed. I know that each instructor is over-burdened with so many students assigned to him/her but I am sure it gets manageable when you consider that there will be a select few out of 50 that may be swimming in warm waters.

- Whenever a probation is assigned to a student, the student should be asked to only opt for two courses and no more and the adviser needs to advise what courses he/she should take up, whereas the counseler should not only ensure that mental health and social issues are well-addressed but also, if need be, acts as an intermediary between parents/instructor and the student.Moreover, just like, Saad and Xainab have discussed in their facebook discussion, the letter should not just be a cruel howler that belittles the student and shatters his/her already diminished confidence. Rather it should have a list of options and a well-defined protocol to forward help to the student to get out of the hole in the form of adviser guidance and career counseling.

- Class representatives and the Student Council understandably can’t attend to each and every individual’s concerns. But they need to rally support such that they are in a position to influence policy and in the end turn it in the favor of the students that they are representing. Let’s stop making the elections a popularity contest. Someone suggested morale events. That could help too.

- Saad Akhtar’s brilliant mentor program. This is much needed. Every freshman should have a senior or junior assigned to him/her who they can talk to freely and share thoughts with. This will finally overturn the frowned-upon rituals of ragging and hit the other extreme where xenophobic students and frightened newbies are welcomed to the LUMS family the RIGHT way. The “Big Brothers and Sisters” can aid in mentally preparing the freshmen for the overbearing academics to come, give them inside tips on courses and books and educate them in the do’s and dont’s of the university. These mentor assignments could well turn into lifelong friendships as well. Moreover, students always feel comfortable in sharing personal stuff with a face that isn’t necessarily a reflection of the administration.

- LUMS Admin, “Drop the ego”. First of all, the administration should stop portraying themselves as this statute of justice and equality. They should also stop opting for a stance in which they are desperately exonerating themselves of all blame instead of exhibiting meaningful sympathy for the tragic happenings. The question to ask is not whose right or wrong, rather its to ask what could have been done better. This is a time to introspect , identify flaws, rectify and move forward. It’s not a perfect world so quit behaving like your living in one.

With this, I’d like to commend everyone whose voicing their concerns on this issue. I really hope that people take a step back from their studies and everyone starts cherishing the life that Allah has given us. Academics is important, no doubt, but its not larger than life and never will be. No matter how dark the tunnel is, there will always be a light at the end of it. Yes, there is always a way out. Life will move on and time will heal everything. And remember. Allah will NEVER EVER burden you with something that you can’t bear. No, its not a myth. All you need is faith.

Stay safe everyone. May Allah Bless you all !

JazaakAllah khairun.

Salaam and keep it halal.

Directions from the Misdirected

Have you ever been one of those lost travellers looking for a home or office who then resorts to fellow pedestrians for some assistance ? And have you noticed the different types of people you get to meet ? the one who knows too much but talks too fast, the one who just randomly hand-waves directions, one who has no clue as to where you want to go and one who himself is as lost as you are. This Thursday , I discovered a new breed.

Alright. Straight to it. I needed to get my biometrics taken to apply for an England Visa. For this purpose, I needed to travel 16 miles from Penn to an application support Center located at 10300, Drummond Road. The way to get there was fairly simple actually. “A subway to Frankford Station, then transfer to a bus to Academy and Red Lion Rd” is what the trip planner software displayed on transportation service web site. So, I did exactly that - caught the subway and the bus. Now, on the bus, after waiting for 20 minutes for my stop, I just went and asked the bus driver whether the bus went to Academy and Red Lion (although I knew very well it did - dunno why I asked ; guess I was bored :P). To my surprise, the driver says “No. You’ll probably have to walk up a block from where I’m going to drop you”. “Hmm. Ah, whatever” , I said to myself, knowing that walking a block ain’t a problem. But what was really surprising was the fact that the bus dropped me at a stop with a huge sign saying “Academy and Red Lion”. Walk a block ? I don’t think so.

Anyhoos, another dude got off the bus with me. This bespectacled chubby person seemed to be a seasoned resident, so I thought I’d ask him where exactly the USCIS office at 10300 Drummond Road was (I knew it was near, but the direction wasn’t clear). He said “Ohhh You mean the post office where they make the passports and all ?” I wasn’t sure if the office was close to a post-office but the fact that the dude said ‘passports’ sounded close enough to me. So I said ‘yea’. Boom. He starts giving me this horrifying tirade on how I was absolutely stupid to get off the bus because the place I intend to be at is like miles and miles away and I would have to walk at least 45 minutes to get remotely close. I was like, “lucky I came here an hour earlier, better start walking then”. And he starts hand-waving a billion directions per second on how to get there which I did not comprehend at all. Now, here’s the kicker. I thank him and turn around towards the direction I had to go. I walk ten paces forward and immediately notice a humongous white building with a few numbers on it. The numbers read 1 0 3 0 0. Eyebrow twitch. “Where have I seen that before?” , I think to myself. OH YEA ! I look around for the next street sign and sure enough - Drummond Road ! I instantly swiveled on my heel and wanted to shout at the man who got me concerned but *sigh* he was quick to disappear.

So, yes, we have new breed of direction-givers who not only hand-wave and speak very fast but also scold you for being at the wrong place AND tell you to travel a mile when all you have to do is turn around. Need to come up with a cool name. Suggestions ?

I still can’t figure out whether the chubby dude was playing a prank on me or whether he genuinely made a mistake. *Shrug*. Anyways, guess this was Karma’s way of getting back at me for all the lies I have ever told.

Salaam.

Juggler

I guess the fact that I’m really under the pressure cooker these days in terms of projects and assignments will really test how dedicated I am to this blog. I would usually crumble in such situations and just leave the blog stale under the pretext that ‘Cmon…its just a blog’ , but I intend to keep to the promise I made in my come-back post a few weeks ago. Yes. The blog must go on.

For the sheer lack of any extra-curricular activity in my life, I’m kinda twiddling my thumbs right now on what to write about but I think I’ll give it a try. My schedule seems to be full and I’ve rejected Google Calendar as my schedule agent (because I simply don’t open the page simply cuz of so many other things on my mind). Instead, I’ve bought a humongous white board and put it up on my room, where I just write down action tasks in CAPS. I think I seem to be doing a better job in remembering stuff now. I feel like a juggler continuously juggling eclectic objects with a cruel audience watching and waiting for me to screw up. Anyways, I think I’ll just elaborate on these ‘eclectic objects’ for now:

- First and foremost, I’ve been busy with my Master’s “stuff”. Venomous projects (for the techies who are interested , I need to make a mail server from scratch for Distributed Systems!) and tedious assignments are mercilessly being thrown at me. I’m feeling hard-pressed to breathe here. * Stifled gasp *

- I’m planning a trip to England in August and I have to go through the whole frenzy of getting my docs in order, getting photos taken, applying for a visa and purchasing the tickets and what not. Why am I going ? Well, my bro lives there with his wife (who by the way I still haven’t personally met since my bro’s marriage, last November) and of course there’s E, Baby and Choi who shall be my honorable travel guides

- I still have a few things to figure out with Microsoft and the internship like housing finances, course credit stuff and relocation issues. And they have been surprising me lately, those Micro blokes. A friend working there had been telling me about the agonizing delays in their e-mail replies. It was only yesterday that I needed approval of something from my super-busy manager and she was kind enough to shoot me a reply within 3 minutes of my mail

- My secretary duties at the MSA roll on as usual. Weekly mails and board meeting minutes and etc. And its a busy season these days, mind you. We just had an Alumni Banquet which supposedly some are claiming to be the best ever event held by the MSA @ Penn to date. Up next on our schedule is the MSA Family Fair, where a myriad of West Philly families show up for fun-filled festivities. Should be fun !

- I’m also now a Muslim representative of an inter-faith (between Muslims and Jews) club called ‘Bridging the Gap’. In our first meeting, we had to brainstorm ideas to bring Muslims and Jews together and have them get to know each other. And I knew just the thing. i suggested to have another showing of Amer’s fabulous ‘Kaub Banega Hazaarpati’ (Who wants to be a Hundredaire , or whatever you call a person with > $100) software and this time play with teams instead of one-on-one. And obviously the teams will be mixed to employ the “inter-mingling effect” desired The idea flew well with the board !

- Lastly, but not least, my blogs ! I am working on two at the moment. The one I’m writing on currently and then there is the picture-based Pause (with Choi). And work on blog number 3 (RHEX) starts tomorrow ! AArggh…I’m turning into a Blog Puppie !

Sigh…with that, I’m also scratching my head as I just realize that my first academic year at Penn is about to come to an end in less than a month (InshAllah). I just can’t figure out where all the time went. Won’t be long before I’ll be at that juncture where Penn is behind me and I’m headed back home….

Salaam.

RadioHead

Since the return of RadioLUMs a week ago, I find myself typing ‘radio.lums.edu.pk’ on a web browser every now and then, to tune into some funky IP radio ! It seems like eons ago when I was on air as a special guest on Ibad’s Dus Tuk Dinner Show last July, when the whole concept was still in its infancy. Shortly after that show, technical problems erupted and the society simply vanished into thin air for what seemed like an eternity. But yes, Reincarnation indeed ! Hell, I may not know the RJs and I may have no clue as to who the hell “Spades” is in that chat box of theirs, but I still find it very entertaining for a number of reasons:

Firstly, the interface is AWESOME. And I mean, extremely slick. And it makes a hell of a difference, mind you ! Cuz crappy looking controls and Web pages that are abundantly crowded with uninformative text and annoying advertisements can be quite a turn-off. So, A+ on the aesthetics.

Secondly, D-UH -> people know me ! There’s THE ‘Gulab from Punjab ‘(my partner in crime in the infamous Jinsi Rhappar) on the RJ roster who I can call in and bug. Ibad will be joining the party soon too, with his Karachi-based show called “Alumni Hour”. Moreover, after performing a snippet of the frankly overdone ‘Allah Bachayay’ Qawaali on the pilot show of the test transmission, I made instant acquaintance with the 08 RJs conducting the show, one of whom is the blog admin (Ayesha Mulla). And of course, tuning in from Philadelphia always gives the hosts something interesting to talk about “Have you seen the Fresh prince of Bel-air ?” is a common icebreaker

Thirdly, I can , more or less, make out what the topic under discussion is. Classes, PDC, IEEE, Skitamasha, Scavenger Hunt, CodinGuru are all buzz words that I am all too familiar with. Moreover, given the astounding global nature of RadioLUMS (callers from countries like England, USA, Phillipines, Singapore, Finland and Sweden), the RJs are smart enough to realize that alums are tuning in so they kindly throw in a few amusing campus updates in their verbal montage. Sigh, some alums are rightly dubbing RadioLUMS as “Gateway to Nostalgia”.

And oh, I don’t deny the fact that I’ve been terribly excited about the whole concept of RadioLUMS lately, which has had some people raising eye-brows. That’s right, some of my homies are getting quite annoyed. Some of them are of the view that its (a) quite lame to have so much time on your hand to tune into RadioLUMS in the first place (b) even more lame to be tuning into your ‘past’ (c) a sign of weakness and lack of manhood to be nostalgic (d) lame to be chatting with juniors you don’t know etc.

LOL ! If you guys only gave this much thought to your work

Before I end this post, I do want to let you in on a little fact that you might have not known before. The interface of RadioLUMs and all the back-end IP gimmick is the workings of a kid prodigy from the batch of 2010 known as Farrukh Jawed. He developed the IP radio ALL BY HIS OWN in his dorm room and not surprisingly, his techy prowess was recognized by the comm-giant Skype, who had already offered him a job. All this in…wait for it…his FRIKKING freshman year !! (MashAllah) I didn’t even know how to write ‘int main’ at that time, for crying out loud ! And I’m hearing so many great things about other 2010 CS freshies, that I think I might have to dedicate an entire post to them No less credit to Ibad Kureshi (and his team) for realizing the potential of the idea, taking the managerial reins, hacking through the thick administrative jungle and finally coming out successful to plant the RadioLUMs flag on the map! * applause *

Anyhoos, I know that my bubbling enthusiasm is prone to go down a few notches as time passes by (unless RadioLUMS does something uber-unbelievable). But till then, I think I’m just going to get cumfy in my inclined chair, sip on some cold Pepsi, blog posts like these…and listen into some ‘Luminite Radio’. “Gal Sun Oay” !

Salaam and Keep it halal, y’all!

Screened

The summer season is set to offer a host of delicious movies but you might ask, what’s happening in quiet March? So, let’s talk a little movies today:

10,000 B.C.

So, like, SERIOUSLY, what were they thinking ? This movie makes Bollywood flicks look sophisticated and diverse. Let’s start with the dialogues. Fine, they couldn’t really resort to caveman Ug-like speech in the interest of making a comprehensible movie in this enlightened age, so instead they stuck with English accents and vocabulary that would put the colonial British to shame. Secondly, what is up with title ? Tossing in a sabretooth, bunch of wooly mammoths and a few retarded ostriches doesn’t give you 10,000 B.C. - it gives you “Ug and his animal friends”. There was no effort to characterize the age or to create an ancient atmosphere that was truly imaginative or novel. Rather, the director of the film thought it would be real whack to incorporate a chronological blunder where wooly mammoths are being used to build the Egyptian pyramids! Hang on. Why in the world did the elephant evolve to have crazy amounts of fur, in the middle of the freakin’ burning desert ? Hello !! *knock knock on head* And did I mention the whole story revolving around a Bollywood-like love saga complete with a diabolical trio consisting of your bullet-dodging hero, fragile and useless herione and heavily tanned villain ? Ok, now I’m upset about the 8 dollars I spent on this thing. Next.

FITNA

Even before watching this malicious anti-Islam movie, I knew very well I was going to have trouble swallowing the content and the spiteful message that it was going to present. But I truly believed that the movie itself would have have been made with some impressive directorial treatment, thought-povoking rhetoric and the typical cinematographic finesse you expect from Western movies. And boy, was I disappointed. The movie itself (I’m not referring to the content) was quite average - it was as if an amateur just stitched up random scenes taken from a news agency archive. There was no definite structure to the arguments that the movie was trying to present and no systematic effort was made to convince the viewer. It was pretty much like someone just dipped the paintbrush in a pail of assorted colors and blotched the whole canvass in an effort to make a masterpiece. There were sporadic scenes being shown every now and then and from the looks of it, the director was really desperate to make a point but sadly, was not only missing the bullseye, but was completely avoiding the board altogether. As far as the content is concerned, well, it was quite disappointing to see that all this media hype was about a bunch of atmoised ayats from the Quran taken way out of context and the depressing views and opinions of aggrieved victims of oppression, angry prisoners and everyone else who is far far away from remotely representing Islam. The fact of the matter is that many Muslims today do NOT accurately represent the true teachings of Islam, so pointing at them as proof of Islam being an intolerant religion is a very weak try. Sorry, Mr. Wilders, I’m not even going to say it was a nice try…and needless to say , you don’t get any cigars either.

21

When I was told that the tickets were sold out on the first day I intended to see the show, I knew that this movie was probably going to have more substance than the previous few. And, yes, it really did ! Solid storyline about this insanely smart MIT kid, in need of loads of money, who gets recruited by a club of blackjack players that seemingly have broken the system…with some sizzling mathematics, probabilities and most importantly, the art of counting cards. Kevin Spacey adds his charm as he portrays this witty but venomous professor leading the team to Vegas glory and well… things get ugly afterwards. But the point is, the story is fresh, very fast-paced, a few twists and turns and I really enjoyed the ending 20 seconds too. Epic. Must-watch. What more can I say ?

That’s all from this session of “Talking Movies”. Join me again in another episode - same time , same place next week. Till then, Salaamualeikum , take care and keep it halal !